Numbers 13-15:21

At God's command, Moses sends twelve men to scout the land of Canaan, the land of milk and honey, the promised land, and the people dwelling there. Upon their return, the scouts confirm the goodness and fruitfulness of the land. But ten of the twelve stir up the Israelites to grumble against Moses and God, convincing them that the Israelites that God cannot keep His promises--that He cannot guide them to triumph over the residents of Canaan and give the Israelites the land He has promised them. Only Caleb and Joshua of the twelve remain faithful and confident in God and His promises. The others, and the rest of the Israelites, grumble and complain and long to return to Egypt as slaves rather than (as they see the alternative) to die in the desert. This moves the Lord to anger. After Moses attempts to intercede for the people, the Lord relents somewhat. But the punishment is that the Israelites must wander the desert for forty years--one year for each day the twelve spent scouting Canaan--until the last of the ten scouts and others who spurned the Lord are dead. On reflection, the people feel "great remorse"--but even then they cannot obey the Lord.  Instead, they set off for battle to take Canaan despite Moses' warning: "Why are you again disobeying the Lord's orders? This cannot succeed." And, of course, without the Lord, it does not succeed and they are defeated. One recurring theme here is that the Israelites repeatedly "spurn" or "reject" the Lord, and even when they have remorse they are so strong willed that they feel compelled to decide how they themselves will "make things right"--even when God, through Moses, instructs them differently. 

How often do I do the same? I grumble and complain, even tough God has given me so much! I am incredibly fortunate and blessed--with health, with a beautiful family, with a job--and yet there are times when I grumble against the Lord.  I want something more, or something different, or I want something when I want it. Then, when I am struck by how much God has already given me, I too have remorse.